The Devil is dead!!! Oh, no… wait…

OK, so by now you are aware my Mother in law (a.k.a. the devil) is staying with us to “help” us with our newborn daughter.

She goes to sleep everyday by 8:30pm.
She sleeps most afternoons (siesta).

Anyway, she generally stays with my son while I go to work, and my wife is sleeping (she sleeps until later, as she wakes up during the nights for my daughter).

One day I go downstairs with my son, after one more sleepless night.
I don’t know why, but he really hates changing diapers when he wakes up. So he screams, cries and complains all the way while I am changing him.

By then, generally, my mother in law is awake and takes the lead into serving him his breakfast while I prepare my coffee and leave.
Today however, no dice.

I Call her name a couple of times and sit my son in his high-chair. Nothing.
I prepare his food and call her once more, louder, but nothing.

I think to myself “Fuck. I’ll going to be late”.

I finish up giving my son’s breakfast, and by then I am worried. I mean he does makes a lot of noise while eating (we play a lot and he laughs, screams and bangs his toys around), and we are very close to her bedroom. But not a sound comes from her bedroom.

I start getting worried. I mean, last thing I need is to go upstairs and tell my wife her mom died while sleeping in our house.
1000 things goes through my mind. Funeral, shipping the corpse to her sons, calling each one of my brothers and sisters in law and tell the bad news, how to help my wife through these times, etc…

So I put my son in the living room, turn on the TV and setup “Baby Einstein” for him to watch and I get to the bedroom’s door.
I call her name again twice, in loud voice.
Nothing. I move to open the door and all of a sudden I hear “I am awake! I am awake!!”.

She says she overslept and did not hear me calling.

Now I am fucking late and she did not die. I am pissed.
I make my coffee and go to work.

Thinking back, I think now I know why she sleeps so much.
She sleeps in my living room in the afternoons.
Probably by night, she goes back to hell to do whatever she does there. This morning, she run late in her work in Hell. When she heard me calling, It probably took her some time to raise from hell and to morph into human shape again (so she would speak).

A man can’t get a break!!!

Party time!!! Wait!!! Forgetaboutit!!!

Yesterday night was my company’s holiday’s party.
We would go while my Mother in Law (a.k.a. the devil) would take care of the kids.
By 7:30, my wife shows up and she’s ready to go.
She tells me to put my son to sleep and get ready so we could go.
I was hoping the mother in law would do that, but apparently she is afraid of giving my son a bath (you know the devil does not like water).
So I say ok to my wife. But I ask her to help me after I bathe him, so I could shower too while she helps.
The reason I asked for help is because his bedroom is close to our bathroom, so I cannot go shower right after putting him to sleep.
We let him sleep on his own now. So we read him a story and put him in bed. He mostly cries for 3-5 minutes and then goes to sleep. However, this is because he is in the upstairs bathroom, and we stay downstairs. If he would see/hear us, he would cry for us to go pick him us (and stay with him until he sleeps).

Anyway. That is why I asked for her help.
She tells me “I can’t”.
So I ask her “until when?”
She goes off with “Until I see the doctor! Why? Do you think I don’t want to do it? What about my cut (it was cesarean) ? I can have him sit on it. How can I raise him?.........and on, and on, and on….”
I was like: “Hey! That’s not what I meant!”
But by then she was already “I am not going tonight! Now I have a bad mood. I will not be able to smile. You ruined it!”

Now, I can understand she misinterpreted me. But If I tell her I am sorry and that’s not what I meant, how come this is still my fucking fault???

She goes upstairs and takes off her clothes and put her pajamas instead.
I get my son to the shower, and check on her after his bath, and she is crying, looking in the mirror.
I told her: "All this time you are looking into the mirror. I asked for your help while I showered so we could go. You could do it instead of crying. But you prefer to do nothing and cry in self-pity for something I did not mean to do or to say and still you feel sorry for yourself."

She then comes to help me with my son and say "Go get your shower". I tell her "will we go to the party?" She replies "No". Then I tell her "So I can handle it myself".

I put him to sleep while she goes back downstairs.
We did not speak for the rest of the night.

I ate cornflakes instead of a fine buffet. Have a Great holidays everyone!!! Mine started with a bang!!!

Good news

My daughter was bourn last week (thus the lack of time to post).
I will try to update here with news soon.