“I am just the father…a bug… just squash me”

I would like to begin with the utmost frustrating thing of all that I experienced during my wife’s pregnancy: The fact that we are powerless for anything.
You see, everyone always talk about how we should care for the woman, for the baby, and …. No, sorry, nothing more. You have to literally forget yourself.
Rules are also not applied here. At least, not yours. Your words become nothing.
My wife and I had fights over many things. The problem is that the only deciding party is the woman. I cannot obligate her to not eat what she feels like, or to do only things as she’s been told by the doctor.
I can only try to steer her out of it. But ultimately it would be her choice to do it or not. And during those times, she will NEVER be thinking of you or of both of you as a couple or as the deciding party. It’s only her (and the baby).
She will be selfish and her emotions will not help either.
Mood swings, discomfort, back pain, lack of sleep, upset about her figure, all this will not help your case neither.
So, the only thing left for you is to try to let her do her thing. If you fight about it, you loose twice. Once because there’s nothing you can do about it. And the second is because if you fight for (what you perceive being) the best for your baby, you make the mother upset, which is also bad for the baby. This means that no matter what, you are not helping.

Good position to be in, uh? J

But don’t worry… you’ll get used to it… (oh, and you thought I would say it will pass??? Heh, forget about THAT!!!).

For the women we love:

If you are a female reading this blog, pregnant or not, I hope you understand that the fact we can be frustrated at times does not mean we do not love or support you. ;)
This is your moment. You are carrying the baby. You have the joy of feeling it moving, and you are attached to it in such a way we will never be.

It is all about you and the baby, but that does not mean we have no feelings or thoughts and different opinions about how to handle/do things.

Please take this blog as “showing you the other side”.

It might sometimes seem unfair, or even wrong in your eyes.
This is how I felt. It might be that even your partner will not feel the same way. As I said before, each one is an individual and our feelings may vary.

Honey, I am pregnant!!!

Congratulations, you'll be a father!!!

Well, those words came and changed my life, one way or another.

You see, I love my wife and my son (2 months old); and I will not try to explain what and how fatherhood is, as it may vary for each and every person, depending on if he WANTED to be a father, if he can afford to be one, if it was planned, etc.

My intent with this blog, is to say things and thoughts, even ramblings and whines, but mostly things that are not explained in books.

You see, most books will just tell about the thrill of being a daddy, and how supportive you have to be with the pregnant woman you have in front of you.
However, they forget to mention how frustrated you will be at times, and this is one thing I had in mind to cover ;)

I hope it helps you or, if you passed through this experience already, I hope it brings laughs and/or memories.

If you just heard the first phrase in this blog and are about to pass it, I hope this can help you and help prepare you. This way you can’t say you were not warned about it.